The Big Picture

Yorkshire Building Society Band
Conductor: Dr. David King
Warner Bros: CD 9718A
Total Playing Time: Approx 65 mins

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In 2001 the number of people going to the cinema in the UK reached the highest total for 30 years - over 27 million of us got off our backsides, sat back on them in the car for the half hour journey to the multiplex, and then decide to sit on them for a further hour or two whilst munching our way through a kilo or more of popcorn and chocolate all washed down by mega sized cartons of Coke and Seven Up. Just to satisfy the most voracious appetite, whole families then descend on the nearest KFC like a herd of Brontosaurs to devour half a tonne of chicken wings before heading for home. Oh…… they will also get to see a film or two. No wonder the UK is fast becoming the lard ass capital of the World.

It's a long way from the experience of our youth - Saturday morning pictures in the old fleapits of the "Ritz" or "ODEON" - (which actually stood for Oskar Deutch Entertains Our Nation, don't you know), and a quick snog with your girlfriend in the backrow before being told to behave by those frightening women with the torch who used to patrol the isles like prison camp wardens. Homeward appetites would be satisfied with sixpence worth of greasy chips from the local Italian chippie. Oh…… and you got to see a least two films, although they were almost invariably a western and a sci-fi B movie. No wonder we were always cold, had greasy complexions and usually caught fleas - these were the days!

The reason why we have decided to go back to the pictures is that the Hollywood Blockbuster has made a return. People of a younger age may not quite believe that films like "Ben Hur" and "Zulu" (a film with perhaps the greatest line of dialogue of all time - "There's Zulu's out there", says a Welsh private with a disturbing cockney accent - "ffouzands of ‘em!") were actually made to be seen on the large screen, and not just on the television every Xmas. We've been flocking back because we want to experience in full surround sound the new blockbusters of "Harry Potter", "Lord of the Rings" and "Gold Member" (OK, we made that one up). And full surround Dolby sound means that you can actually get to hear the music from the films as well - and for the most part, it's pretty good music.

There is a hard and fast rule you should bear in mind though. The better the music the worse the film. Get a score that is Oscar material, and you usually get a film that stinks more than Fifi Le Phew off the cartoons - and you should bear this in mind when you get to listen to this CD from YBS and the massive Warner Corporation.

Warner have released 10 tracks from the films that come under their wing - films that have grossed more dosh than Edwina Currie's bonkbuster memoirs and the CD is an enjoyable musical advertisement of their wares from their recently released brass band catalogue. The playing is absolutely Oscar winning standard, although the arrangements from the modern big hits of "Harry Potter", "Lord of the Rings", "Titanic", "Braveheart", "April in Paris", "Wizard of Oz", "Austin Powers", "Gettysburg" and "Cartoon Classics" ranges from the "Academy Award" standard to "Golden Turkey" offerings. It's a bit like watching the great Richard Burton appearing in a clutch of tripe films so that he could afford to buy old Liz Taylor another diamond sparkler the size of a football. Not even the class of YBS can save some of the lame duck offerings on show here.

The arrangements come from the likes of Andrew Duncan, Mark Freeh, Ray Farr and Steve Sykes and even though they have a mastery over the way in which they construct the music for a brass band, the arrangements themselves lack the colour, textures and atmospheric brilliance of the originals. Not their fault of course as the brass band doesn't offer the same musical palette to work from, but it does make for some bland offerings.

The playing as we have said, is top class and thankfully enough to keep you interested (but why for instance are there two musical excerpts from the "Harry Potter" film - they sound too similar for their own good), whilst the selection from "Titanic" is sunk before we set sail. On the plus side, there are fine arrangements from "Braveheart", "April in Paris" and "Gettysburg", but these are scupperred by a very odd arrangement of the classic "Over the Rainbow" (saved by superb flugel playing from Iwan Williams) and a damp squib "Bossa Nova" from Austin Powers.

The one that really did it for us though was "Cartoon Classics" - a melange of excerpts from "Looney Tunes", "The Flintstones", "The Pink Panther" and "The Simpsons" that has been constructed as well as Frankenstein's monster and is as foot tapping as a ballet dancer in a pair of divers boots. If you want to hear a classic jazzy version of how to intertwine two classic tunes, then get a CD of the "Dirty Dozen Brass Band" from New Orleans - this is simply so bleeding awful that it makes for a superb comedy insert for any programme (perhaps that's its purpose though). The identity of the bloke who impersonates both Woody Woodpecker and Fred Flintstone (and we know who it is), should remain a state secret to safeguard future generations of his family from ridicule. It's bonkers.

"The Big Picture" is a CD well worth listening to, if you haven't got great expectations on your mind (and we're not talking about the David Lean film either). It is light, bright, frothy and as inconsequential as you can imagine. As a way of advertising the Warner Catalogue it's great - but even the brilliance of YBS won't make it into an Oscar winner.

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